Yes, I Am a Pirate

If you could spend a full day each with a musician, a politician, an actor, and an athlete, who would you choose and why? They must be alive and you’re encouraged to think of a setting or an activity in which you’d interact with them.

Musician: Jimmy Buffett, since I’m 27 and always acusp of a mid-life crisis, would spend an afternoon in the lineup on our longboards, reliving some of his timeless tales of pirates and sailing in the Caribbean.

Runner-up: Snoop Dogg and I, chillaxin poolside…

Politician: Al Gore gave up politics for a burning passion, something I’m sure his wife thought he was crazy for doing. I’d want to spend a week camping in the American wilderness with him, hearing how his passion was born and how he made the decision to finally pursue it.

Runner-up: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Venice Beach, arm wrestling. If I can’t beat a 60-year old man, might as well throw in the towel now!

Actor: Matthew McConaughey and me, picking up high school chicks? Alright, alright, alright! Actually, I read this Men’s Health article once where McConaughey was in Mexico for some reason and the reporter went on a run with him. I’d love to put in a workout with McConaughey, somewhere in sandy Mexico, with our shirts off.

Runner-up: Not only is she hot, but Jennifer Aniston hasn’t overdosed on anything, put on 50 pounds, or gone into recluse. I just want an afternoon lunch on an outdoor patio with her to see if she’s really still got it all together or if she’s just a really, REALLY good actress.

Athlete: Brendan Shannahan, a legendary hockey figure whose current unemployment status means he’d have the time to pass the puck with me on a local pond while jiving about his ideas for hockey’s future, since many of his ideas during the NHL’s last lockout were implemented to increase the game’s offensive flow. Also, his demeanor often reminds me of my dad, which was always fun while watching him on the Rangers.

Runner-up: Keith Hernandez has a million amazing stories, and I want to sit at a dive bar and hear him tell me every single one… twice. I hope he opens with the tornado story…

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